Con't offense story

PERSON: Brenda, Please tell me the story of a man, a boy and a donkey.

MEDICINE WOMAN: There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride.

As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk. The old man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe they should both walk.

Soon they passed some people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the best thing would be for them both to ride the donkey.

Soon, they passed a group who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor helpless animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The Moral of the Story: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass!

PERSON:
What a wonderful story. I'm so glad I wrote you a note. I was bothered by your many posts and now I know what I was to learn. I recently joined facebook. At first, I didn't like how my old high school friends only posted complaints. I began to make friends with like minded people that I would find commenting in a nice pleasant way. I began to rejoice that now most of my facebook friends posts were positive and life-giving. Today, my spouse and I started our day worried about finances and rather than give thanks for your positive posts, I was irritated by them. Because I was not looking with love, I couldn't help myself. I am sorry that I took my out-of-alignment out on you Brenda. I was taken a back by your mention of being a good girl. I worry about being good and such things myself. I am trying desperately to pull my family out of a financial mess and trying to not have lack mentality. I have chosen to see your posts as another example of abundance that is all around me. Many blessings to you my friend. Please forgive me.

MEDICINE WOMAN:
Again you have blessed me. I am so happy. That we connected. I can't stop crying. I know I truly have healed something in my life. Keep being the beautiful person you are and keep yourself open so you can consciously see when your thoughts drive you in a different direction. Sometimes we tank instead of thank but then hopefully we can outgrow that and give more thanks then tanks. Remember for every thought you think your brain has to create a chemical peptide so you will feel it and it goes out into the world to create that experience.

Many Blessing from Medicine Woman Brenda Bates

heal or deal with the offense?

When I was writing and didn’t want to choose to heal the feeling of the old triggered condition of a past decision. I want to belittle this person. I want to hurt this person right back. But is that me? Being ego or spirit. Since I love to walk my talk. I choose heal it instead of deal with it. So this is what I wrote.

I post for only those that need or want to hear it. I post because it inspires me when I go through all of my friends. I learned a few months back that when you have a few friends that post a lot, it really looks like a lot. But when you have over 500 friends you don’t notice it. What I have noticed is what are they putting out there on their post. I have over 900 that are constantly inspiring me. It takes me a long time to get through them all. Half the time I have to save the inspirations for another day. I was deep into spirit today, my cup was overflowing.

I know that one day i was so depressed and when i heard inspiring words it saved me. So if I can help one person, I feel like I am giving back.

I understand the way you see me. Your perception is correct for you. I can't show up to you any other way then you let me. Because you are a reflection of me then I maybe feeling small. by rights i should feel small next to our plant next to the sun then next to the universe. I am not the only one that feels inspired and love being with their Facebook friends.

I use to run an unresolved story. It stated that if comments from people like yourself would say innocently or suppose to hurt me. I would get so muddled in my thinking. My ego would take over and I didn’t know how to act. I don’t know how to act. Maybe they are right. I would be so confused that I became such introvert. I didn’t want to communicate with people because I saw it as very hard and hurtful. I didn’t know who to believe or what to believe. It meant that I was a bad girl and I should think twice before I do it again. I am to apologize and somehow repent and obey. Then I would close myself down and make sure i prove to you that I am a good girl. In this case I would unconsciously not post for about a week then when I did post, I would post only once until I get my courage back that I am not a bad girl and then I get to inspired and then send out a frequency for someone else to tell me to shut down, slow down, shut up or stop or you are doing it because...

I heard of the story of a man, a boy and a donkey. I realized that I can’t please everyone. Because there are too many perceptions of me.

Thanks for being my reflection today because it tells me if I am still hooked into old programming or have I healed it completely. So I don't bother you with my posts. You can hide me or delete me. I didn't mean to hurt you or bother you in anyway. I am just so happy to be alive and sometimes I like to live out loud. I was even taught that it is okay and it is encourage to live out loud.

Thank you for the clue. I am being 3 yrs old and don’t know my place or how to interact with people. I am extremely shy. When I do interact I am told it is wrong.

Oh thank you again. You provided me with an example to go with my posting of Rebecca Saxe: How we read each other's minds

Thank you for being a blessing.

stay tuned there is more...

To take offense or not to take offense.

We are spiritual beings creating and sharing a human experience. Why do things happen? I was so happy that day. My cup of joy and happiness was over flowing. I then got a message in my inbox. I read it and I at first took offense. I was hurt. I scaled it and realized it was a 1 1/2 out of 10. As I began to write a response, my thoughts made the 1 1/2 go up to a 3. I trained myself to know when I am negative. I used my healing HOPE Therapy technique and it went down to a zero. I thought to myself. Is this person tanking me? Did their day go so bad they must tank me? But why would I project this? I did it because a program inside of me kicked in. Am I doing the right thing? Am I bothering people? Completely unaware of it, so I projected it out into the world (energy cords and we have lost of them good and bad) to mirror back at me. It was up to me to decide how I was going to respond to it. I once read.

Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. Lou Holtz

Here is the letter and you tell me how you would respond?

I have 11 posts from you so far on my wall today which means I have to keep scrolling and scrolling to find the messages from my other friends. Are you feeling small and therefore wanting to post and post so that you will feel more heard? I have felt that way before. I can relate but the kingdom of God is within you.

So tell me how you would respond?

Changing Your Reality in Minutes.

I drove down to NC in Oct 2008 to become medicine woman/spiritual leader and I did it by myself. This was a big step for me.

I was talking on the phone with my husband. I was asking how far will I get on a tank of gas. I had 1/4 tank left and I really didn't want to get gas. He told me that you will be fine. I said well at the next town I will get gas.

Bad news. It was after 10pm and places close and the only things coming up were small towns. I was on E. I had to make a decision. On a scale of 0-10 my fear was up to a 3. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My ego was making me feel that I was going to run out of gas and no options and all the bad things that might happen to me.

So I asked God to give me a sign. I passed a town called Waldo. I laughed and said I found waldo. (clue-I am finding myself) I saw a sign for a hotel. So I turn off and saw it and said hell no. Did you ever see the movie Psycho, with the Bates motel scene. Well my fear went up to 6 and I could not get back onto the road that I just got off of. My GPS was down. My phone was down and I couldn't think.

I said show me a sign. I choose to let go of fear. I saw two gas stations that were closed. I pulled into one and sat under the light. My fear and anxiety that I would have to stay there all night was an 8 I was crying. I played with my phone and got my husband. He was in bed and didn't answer so I said I am okay but I have to spend the night in a gas station parking lot. I hung up and called 911 and then they gave me a number to the sheriffs department. I was so upset because they didn't connect me and I didn't think I to ask. I prayed the phone would work one more time.

At this time, I started tapping (EFT). I then brought the fear down to a 4 and then I got through to the Sheriffs department. He said that he couldn't do anything for me but would send a policeman to drive through every hour.

I did another technique (EHT) and this time the feeling went to zero and color white and the thoughts stopped and the feelings of fear were gone. I felt okay. I thought okay I am sleeping here. I opened the trunk to see what I had to use to sleep all night in the back seat of my car. The policeman pulled up and said are you the woman in distress. I said yep that's me. He said I got to thinking. I only live about 2 miles from my house and I have gas in a gas can. I will come back and we will see what we can do. He left and I thought cool. He came back and said okay, we decided that we will put the gas in and drive you as far as your car will go and then if we have to we will fill the gas can up and pour it in again and get you safely to the gas station.

They drove me across the state border and to a gas station. I was so elated. I filled my car up and drove to the next town for a hotel and the town was called Ripley's. Like in Ripley's believe it or not. I was so happy I used the tools to stop the insanity. I was able to find myself (waldo) and go through an experience and not let it control me. (Ripley's believe it or not the experience happened.) I am finally in charge of that experience. I stopped the ego insanity. I remembered to use the tools.

For every thought you think a chemical peptide is created and you feel those thoughts, once you feel you think and what you think you feel and so on. Continuously creating a chemical peptide that becomes so overwhelmed that it can't play itself out it just hooks you deeper.

Insanity is doing the same thing expecting differnet results by using the same mind that created it in the first place.

problem and solution 1-13-09

Problem:

What clue did I see today? This is what stuck out like a sore thumb. I noticed a show called “what I like about you” Val has bad luck with getting married. She can’t allow herself to be happy. Her sister Holly is always happy but represses her emotions. Val is about to get married to a man she really loves but is looking for the shoe to drop. Holly has the love of her life to move away.

As I examine this I noticed that they are attaching. Val has love with grief. Holly has happiness with no feeling. My in my daily world this girl said I am depressed and sad. I can’t understand why I feel this way. I normally feel happy. As I listened to her, she believes she doesn’t have any friends. All I heard to ask her was. Do you not have friends because you choose that or because they choose to not be friends? Her look explained that she didn’t think of it that way.

Hope therapy Reading:

We found a pattern. She took out joy out of life. There is only joy when she thinks it is fun. Everything else in her life is work with misery. There can’t be any joy in this. She has taught herself to look for the misery to make sure to see if this is fun or work. If it is work she goes into the feeling of frustrations, stubbornness, listen to the ego complaining, thinking of how can I get out of this. What happened to her physically? All those chemical peptides that her thoughts made are built up. She now has a cold, coughing, sneezing, running nose, tired, and can’t focus.

Solution:

What we did then was help her consciously notice the pattern of how she thinks. That she has taken out the joy in things. She gets to choose again. People think great now things will work out. Not really. If the pattern has built up to become chronic then when you switch thoughts and give yourself a pep talk you will back slide. Your brain has been programmed to hold that negative pattern. You need to do more then just choose again. You first have to consciously be aware of the pattern. Next is give her an essences like Tree, Bach, FES, or Australian bush. Then I give them the tool of EFT – Emotional Freedom technique. I then have them sit in front of me and would do EHT and hold the pulse points while I talk them through from detaching them from the outcome, the stronghold of that belief and limited decision.

Because her body has become sick. If the degree is a cold and can handle then nothing. If the symptoms are really bad then I make a customized homeopathic. I would check her pH Balance and if it is a little low then suggest eating more alkaline foods. If the pH Balance is really low then I suggest them on a different program. If it is chronic and the terrain has been infested with colonies of fungus, parasites, bacteria, or viruses then it is highly suggested that they use a customized homeopathic that will address those issues.

January 9th, Friday 2009

I am one step closer to healing a big issue of mine. I have been playing out this continued story. I told you yesterday that my daughter is having problems fitting in. Well since she is the first ring of illusion, she is what is in my face to heal. The question is what clues or mirrors am I getting from this.

I first tell people to list the name. In this case my Daughter. Then the negative beliefs, qualities, or limited decisions.

ie: Daughter

Dreading to go to school and be around her friends
Yearning to have friends, something better then what she has.
Physically making herself sickThinks about it to much contemplation

Well that is it. I see that dreading falls under the kidney meridian. Which means that emotions is set as a trigger point (learn more about myotherapy) Kidney represents the cleansing of the water in the body and water represents emotions. As a medicine woman I would use a healing technique that is called EHT –emotional healing technique. This is where I use the pulse points, the oh my Creator points, a scale and of number and color. I have you get into the feeling and thinking process then in a matter of minutes.

You will see the number and color change and you will feel yourself becoming less attached to that emotion or thought process. Then when it hits zero and white then it is cleared out of your emotional and mental body. Then I use hands on healing to clear it out of the physical body and aura. If it has been in there longer than seven years then it is a spiritual issue as well and probably will require a customized homeopathic as well.

Again anything that you are unsure of the meaning please visit my other blogs for definitions.

I have to go to the emotion of Yearning and contemplation. With the case that she is making a physical manifestation of her thoughts. ((Oh by the way, for every thought you think a chemical peptide is created and it acts like a key and locks itself into the cells that represent those neuronet emotions. So it can play it self out (acute) or become chronic and create the body environment to always show up as not healthy.)) I would still use the EHT method. I would use suggestive words that would help the subconscious mind to release the pattern of the body to have to go into sickness. Remember that all healing takes place at the subconscious level.

January 8th 2009 dread & yearning

Today's mirror started at 7:20am. My husband came into the room I am sleeping in and said I have to go to work and I ran out of time to get our daughter to go to school. Turned the big light on and left. She did come in the room and sat down. He was looking for me to force her to get dressed and force her to go to school. I knew that she was hoping I would pity her and let her stay home. I am for listening and having compassion but pity is what gets me in the poor house. It is pitying that lets me be the carpet people walk all over. It is pity that makes me an enabler. Sometimes when you take something to the extreme it because unhealthy for you and the other person.

I laid there listening to her. My ego is saying I just want to sleep. Oh pity me. I am sick and I have to get up in a few hours and perform intellectual work. I can't handle this. I see know way out of this hell. This is going to go on and on and on and on and on. Please let me sleep. Why can't you just go to school and do your part. My ego even goes further by saying why doesn't he give me the same respect that I gave him. My ego whined on with self talk about how I jumped out of bed as soon as i heard a cry so it wouldn't wake him up. I would keep the light off in the hallway in order not to disturb him. Sometimes I couldn't see where I was going and trip. I took care of those babies so you didn't have to. There maybe one time that you actually got up and helped but you bitched the whole time. So in order for me not to hear you bitch I would just sacrifice myself and just do it. I yearned for you help. My ego would get caught up in the stories of how the husband got up with the baby too. Or did it so the wife could sleep. My ego wanted to blame and complain. I made this projection so up over and over again so the ego can prove that I am right. talk about living in the ego mind.

My spirit on the other hand said Brenda listen to her. She is telling you valuable information about you. She told me of the same problem as before. I don't have any friends. I don't want to be at school and watch everyone play and I don't. I knew that she wasn't going to give in. She was hoping that my pitying her would give her the one thing that she wanted and that was not to go to school. I was able to see her belief system and the decision she made that is now limited. I see the amount of emotions backing up her belief and decision. I also see the mirror of me.

I realized that my projection sitting there was me at that age or younger. I did not want to participate in life. I would rather run away and start over but if the option were there. I would say no because it was scarier then were i was. I didn't have any skills to cope with it. I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to be listening to. I wanted to make people laugh. I was the too serious one. I had replaced my response of love with anger to everything.

Well she got her way after 2 hours. I had no fight in me. I didn't want to fight. I just wanted to her to go to school and me to get back to sleeping. Kids have the energy to stick it out. parents have the energy to cave and make it all stop. I know that beating her, yelling at her, bribing her, doesn't work. I know when she has her mind set on something it is like a steal trap.

Put one foot in front of the other

I was sitting in my living room with my husband watching the animation Santa clause is coming to town, which first aired on ABC December 13, 1970. I was listening to the song; “Put one foot in front of the other by Bass, Jules. I am so excited as I am listening to the words. Wow that is what I believe. It is positive and totally great words. My husband said in 1970 you would have been 3 years old. Would you say that is when you got your first training on thinking positive to become the therapist you are now. I thought that was funny and wanting to share the lyrics.

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tail wind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule, be the exception
A good way to start is to stand

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
You mean that it's just my election
To vote for a chance to be reborn

(repeat chorus twice)

Blown off Center!!!

I was so surprised by what I projected today. The night before I was working on loss of power. I did some muscle testing and found out it was in the womb. I got my little manual for life out and learned from my parents that it was easier to give in then take the crap that gets through at you over and over again. It never stops. So what do you do to make it stop? I didn’t heal that because I fell asleep.

The next day my son says to my daughter stop playing with that crystal that is evil. I thought who is this little boy of mine. Doesn’t he know who I am? My husband sat down and laid into him. I did my best to explain that it wasn’t evil. He started crying. He learned when he was younger that if he cried then mom would shut up but those days were so long ago. (I pigeon holed him-like that lady did)

I went to bed and got up excited that I am meeting with other people who think the way I think. I was ready to meet them. I had called ahead of time and they said I will meet you at where you are going to teach. I said all right. I thought that was nice of them. These people teach metaphysical like I do. I was guided to meet people more like me. I learned of places that I could go instead of just on the internet. As I stood their they didn’t say much except get caught up with the women that was working. They are dear old friends. The lady behind the counter said that she was sad and grieving. I said you can heal that you know. Well them must have been fighting words. I said well I can show you a little of what I do. You can help the body heal the emotional build up in a matter of minutes instead of years or never. I stopped talking when the two ladies that I was there to meet walked away in disgust. I said the one lady behind the counter. I guess this is my que to shut up. Because when I asked the lady if she wanted to heal she said that is all she is doing and the emotions are not there. I have learned from the past that we tend to deal way the pain instead of remove the toxins from the body and heal it. I had asked her questions an she answered in away that told me that she wasn’t going to heal and she knows all the ways and that is it. The lady that was suppose to be checking me out came back and asked how long I have been doing this. I told her and she cut me off and said you haven’t been around a lot of metaphysical people. I said well not like you. (The people in Detroit, MI are much nicer. I hung with them for 8 months until gas prices got so bad. I live about 2 hours away.) She said I can tell. She bursted out and I could literally feel the energy of my hair fly. I wasn’t zipped up so I took all that energy in and I was about to cry. I was being chewed on that I didn’t know them and pretty much how dare I come over and know it all and tell us how to live. Then the other lady stood there smiling. She had sized me up a few times before that. I didn’t know they were friends. She told me to call them. I am wondering if they did it to knock me down a few pegs. I didn’t defend myself because I could hear spirit say just watch and listen. The words that ran through my head were you can’t teach anyone that knows it all. Remember what happens to the brain when you say I know it. It ques the subconscious mind to literally stop taking information in. The ego then jumps in with a chip on its shoulder. My spirit says keep watching and why did I project this? Ego is saying what on earth did I do to deserve this. I feel like I was on trial and she was judge and jury. There was another women there that said that I am to stop coming in as just a teacher because I am not being a teacher. I am being rude by coming in and shacking my finger and telling us what to do.

I thought okay what finger was I shaking? How was introducing myself and doing my best to show you who I am become a bad thing. You decided to interview me. I am not sure why I was being interviewed. I prayed and said help me. I felt energy swirling in my first and second chakra and I watched the energy go out to these three ladies. It was I am right you are wrong. I am so stupid. I am so glad you showed me the way. I will learn from you. I am not your equal I am to learn from the masters. I didn’t like the energy leaving me but she stopped and then said well in this town there is a lot of competition and you have to know how to run with the big dogs. I thought we are one but this isn’t unity. I got the message that we are to stand unity and let the frequency hold dominate on a global consciousness and be equal and become one. I thought this isn’t equal.

Anyway I learned that I can be easily blow off center. When that happens I get confused and muddled. I literally didn’t know that I was driving or where I was going. I ended up on the other side of town. I just was driving aimlessly. I just wanted out of there. Within what she said she had years of my experience flushed down the toilet. I was convinced she was right. I can’t help anyone. People can’t heal their pain in minutes. It was all a lie. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I wanted to go home but I am to go back to that place and teach. I wanted to just mail the key to them and tell them I am not coming back. I wanted to rip down my signs and say no more.

I stopped the car and sat. Out of the blue I said I am to learn many things from this but I am to learn to pull my power back. Then the phone rings and it was my dear friend that is away on a trip with no cell phone service. She says. Hey girl how are you doing. I told her and then the one frequency that comes through me to teach came through her. I recognized it. I thought wow my guides really want me to heal. Then a flash of blue came across my face and I absorbed all my energy back and then I was back to being me. I thought wow what an adventure I was on. I am so glad that I learned from it. Yahoooooo… Thank you thank you thank you.

Discovering the root cause of why I feel and act the way I do.

I mentally felt tired and didn’t want to do anything. I had to work. I felt like I was agitated. I couldn’t really find the words. I just knew I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I am all about learning it quickly so it didn’t have to happen again.

I checked myself on the acugraph machine. I could see which meridians had too much energy, split, or not enough energy. I was reading two of the meridians and the emotions that can get trapped in there. As I read it, there was this familiar feeling about it. It read, “the ability to feel and express positive emotions.” Even though it was familiar I couldn’t conscious comprehend. Then I allowed myself to intuitively see pictures of memories. I saw myself as a kid being love. I am happy, talkative, playing, and carrying that higher energy that children do. I then would see angry mean faces of the adults. Why you so happy, there is nothing to be happy about. They would say mean things. They would tell me to go away. Stop singing. Leave me alone. Go find something else to do. We lived in a 2 bedroom trailer with 7 people. I did some muscle testing and found out that I made a decision at age 3 that it is wrong to express joy and happiness because when you do you get into trouble. I have to say I as a 40yr old women still feel like I am going to get into trouble. I did EHT – emotional healing technique that is about holding your meridian pulse points as you think and feel your emotions. It is really great to use in my practice. Anyway. I am seeing me doing that to my kids when I was really stressed. I saw my husband do it to the kids. He would get wrapped up in wanting to get something done and when they wanted to climb on his lap he got mad. I then started to remember it on tv and with other family and friends. As an adult I felt ashamed. As a kid I felt really hurt and threatened. I made that decision. I now need to preserve all of the positive learnings and heal from it. I am to go back to that moment as a child and change that decision and help that inner child in me resolve the issue.

Another epiphany came from all of this and that is when happiness has gone on too long in my life, I start to cough, asthma, bronchial issue. Or I sabotage myself by projecting my kids or husband to do something so I get mad or they get mad at each other and I am the peacemaker. I remember I can create or project all kinds of bad stuff to happen so I don’t be happy.

I am 3 yrs old

I am 3 yrs old right now. I am not sure why I am not important to my father. I want to be important. I’m stuck at age 3. Consciously I know that I am 40 yrs old. I would consciously tell you that I am a strong individual. A great leader, mentor and teacher. I walk my talk everyday. I value my life. I am important to anyone that lets me help them. I add value to other people’s lives. I know the journey that I am on is to continue the story where I left off. From age 3 until now age 40. I have been doing my best to live life. I used the old tools to deal with life. But what my soul really wants to do is resolve and evolve. I am so thankful for the tools to heal it completely instead of deal and stuff it so deep that I don’t feel it anymore (that is what causes dis-ease.)

But I also have challenges like taking care of myself physically. I can take care of myself mental, emotionally, and spiritually. But I put myself last. I find that in a relationship that I am the last priority on the list. I tell people go ahead I will wait. I do it all alone. I don’t wear make up, exercise, or take care of my looks. I don’t brush my teeth twice a day. I hardly never floss and I really like to but don’t. I don’t have any time or energy let for me. When I get a chance to take care of me, I just want to veg and not think. I force myself to pamper me at least once a month. I am stuck in moving forward with my business. I seem to make sign makers allude me. I don’t have customers. I can’t market myself properly. I can’t see to use everything to the fullest potential. Of course these challenges are all signs.

I have been on this journey of healing for a long time. I heal almost everyday. I know when to watch for clues. I know when I am in a lesson. I write about it. Oh the many layers that I have healed. I am so impressed with this new epiphany that I have today.

Every clue has been pointing to age three. I know that I had an experience, encoding, imprint, genetic, and lifetimes all apply here. I made a decision. I am not sure about all the words that are involved yet. I know I will find out soon.

I didn’t really have a father. I am not sure when he left. He was an abuser of every kind. I think my mother left him when I was three. He was an alcoholic. It was nothing but negative in the house all the time. My mother was never good enough and could not do anything right and neither could us kids. There were 5 siblings in the family in a two-bedroom trailer. In the late 60’s it was a small trailer. We would get on each other nerves all the time. I was pretty much raised by my siblings. Mother had to work to set us free from dad and the hell. I found out about a year or so ago, that my older siblings really didn’t like me. They were mean to me all the time. I favored one sister out of bunch because she paid attention to me. She was nice at times. Then she got older and wanted friends her age. I will tell you as a kid it broke my heart. She literally wouldn’t speak to me again. She was my rock. As an adult, It consciously didn’t seem to matter. I love her and we are close so what is the big deal about the past, I was just a kid. But when I looked deeper into the feeling of those memories. I see that I dealt with it so many times that I stuffed it so deep that I could consciously not feel it. It was only when I recalled a specific incident that I was able to become real with my feelings. Ego had helped me stuff it because there were no other tools around at that time to heal. I know that I relied on my ego to give me false self-assuredness that life will be okay. I healed the pain and I physically felt better. Anyway. This is about me and my father. I never new him. I had a step dad but he was pretty much the same as my real dad. Except I don’t think he every hit me. His looks could kill. Ouch. She did mom’s.

I have a great life but I physically am sick. I have been using all the tools I have to heal this. I got through so many layers that this one is a big one. I got the phrase, “can’t express positive emotions” I am thinking as the adult I am now. Yes I do. But really every time I do or am for a short amount of time, I physically get sick. I linked it. I finally got a clear answer. I then tracked my meridian energy. A clue is that there are 12 meridians that hold emotions and by holding certain points we can sedate or tone it and remove the emotions. I am cleaning today and I am finding that I am enjoying myself. I am not sick but it feels good to accomplish things. About an hour later my breathing starts to act up. I go to the acuscope machine and tested myself and find out that my stomach meridian doesn’t have enough energy. And my circulation/sex meridian is split really bad and my bladder meridian is really high. I looked at the stomach meridian and the emotions that I picked up was, expanded importance of self and stifled. Early that week I had discovered at 3.
I stop myself from being happy.
It is unsafe to express it in front of…
It is unsafe to be happy and positive…
I will get into trouble if I am happy…
I want to fit in…
I don’t want to take care of self properly…
I can’t take of self properly.
I am stuck in moving forward with my doctorial degree, my books, my website, my signs for business,
I project my husband to not show up for me.
I can’t count on him.
I can’t finish things like I want or use to.
Money seems to be an issue.

I noticed that as a businessperson I want to inform the people that don’t know anything about this. (that = dad) I want to fit in with that crowd (that = dad) I am exerting myself to the wrong crowd because of that 3yr old incident. No wonder I feel like people don’t like me. That they won’t accept me or that they will come with pitch forks and do away with me. They are my father. I will tell you up until now. I didn’t think (consciously) my world was evolving around my father. I am important and I have so much to share why am I not getting a response from people. (that = dad)

wow. I love healing. I am so glad that this epiphany happened. It has been a long time in coming. I am done with suffering and I choose better and I am anchoring my life in Giving HOPE now. I am off to heal myself. Yeah me. If any of you are reading this.

Remember I am a Medicine Woman/Spiritual Leader. You can heal that (call 989-834-5163) and paypal hope@hope-giving-life.com. To do business with you. I require payment ahead. I like to heal using Skype Me: givinghopecenter

I don't matter

I love being able to see what I am projecting. This time I had a client that was this cute little thing. As she sat there talking all of these clues started to pour from her. The emotions were tied in good with her belief system. We found out that her program is about I don’t matter.

As we explored, I don’t matter, the words that it is my fault kept coming up. This person hated her dad. She was so angry at him for just sitting there doing his thing, never participating with the family. She yearned for his attention. She yearned to be acknowledgement. She yearned for his approval. She yearned for it to be nice instead of criticism. She was always compared by her brother. If you look at the word always (it is a must to take that word out of your language) you can see she really believes that it always happens. She held that in her eyes. She saw him doing that since she was a small child. (We did eye accessing to heal that expecting picture.) The words that he uses were stuck in your sensory ears. (We used ear accessing to heal the words that are in there.) The feelings were so thick. Each of those clues were a 10 with a lot of evidence (experiences) to back up the her story (her truth)

She did some healing through EHT, EFT, and cord cutting. She felt better. Each of those statements of belief from, “It is my fault no matter what; to I don’t matter were beyond 10 on the scale of 0-10. The colors were mostly red and orange and blue.

So what does that matter? We all have issues. Well it matter greatly for every thought you think your hypothalamus in your brain creates a chemical. That chemical gets lock into certain parts of your body and creates an energy frequency out from your body so that you will create that experience.

Example: It is my fault can be grief. Grief is found in the lungs. The more chronic the grief the more lung issues. Yearning is found in the lungs, Criticism can be found in the kidney’s along with fear. Gall bladder is resentment and angry is liver. Why so many female issues? The emotions or beliefs of repression, depletion, giving up and not feeling anymore can be found in the reproductive organs of either gender.

Anyways. I was going to bed and I got a clue (from an experience that just happened) and the feelings that it triggered (ego self talk says) it is my fault for making you feel this way. (spirit talk) First of all you can’t make anyone feel a certain way. You can put it out there with intention but it still is up to the receiver to respond (what program are they running.) Then I felt that I don’t matter followed by why am I not important. Oh what dramas we create in order to see what the story line we wrote down in our subconscious mind when we were younger. Please feel free to ask questions. I love to answer.

Follower or Leader?

Yesterday’s class was wonderful. Earlier that week, I prayed an effective prayer of saying Thank you for the message that I am teaching on Monday night’s class. Now it is Monday, I had prayed again. Thank you for the message that I am teaching tonight. I normally get the information on what I am teaching that night in the morning or the night before depending if I need to do research and get the meaning correct. But nothing showed up and here it is 4:30pm and I hadn’t received the message like I normally do. The message normally sticks out like a sore thumb.

My ego didn’t want to trust. Ego stated, “I am not sure about tonight. I just can’t wing it. They are paying for it. They expect to be taught something.” The ego could have continued to keep whining with worry and doubt but I have learned that faith is trusting. My effective prayer was and is Thank you for the message that I am teaching tonight.

Who am I (ego part) to demand that I get the answer right now? Who am I to set the deadline and how dare God to cross it? One of Ego’s tools is giving comfort. It is great that it does but how it does is through “False Sense of Assuredness” It helps us to deal with the situation in the moment. That is good but almost always is lies. The ego knows how to stroke the ego.

So the class begins early this time. I had three people arrive really early. We started to eat and chat about what we are projecting (tell what the week was like…good, bad, or indifferent.) A few others showed up for class and then out of the blue it stuck out like a sore thumb and I knew what I was to teach.

We are humans that come into this world and use our sensory system to define it. To find out what completes us. We come into this world with no manual for life. But we do come in with a note pad (subconscious mind) and the ability to record everything. Example: We are babies and in the crib. We smile and if someone is around they say, “Oh look how cute.” But you realize that you have a need to feed. So you may coo but that doesn’t get you the milk either. Then you fuss a little and still nothing. Then you begin to cry and they say “shhhh it is okay baby, mommy is right here.” As a baby you really are getting frustrated. So you cry really hard. It worked she picked me up. “I am writing this down in my little black book and will use it each time I want something.” I can smell the milk now. I use my mouth to go rutting for it. And they are not letting me have milk. They do not understand me. Why is it so hard to communicate with these people? I am telling them and they just don’t understand me… the story could continue but what is being said here is that we record everything in life from what works to what doesn’t. We write down what we see and think that is the only way it is until we get older and/or are taught that we can brainstorm and tweak things in life. We find ways to communicate to survive. Another example is our pet hamster, Rosie. She and my husband has a great communication. When Rosie wants in her ball she will chew on the bars until my husband gets up and puts in the ball. When she wants to put her food in her UFO - Unique Food Outlet and is unable to do it on her own because her cheeks are so packed to the hilt that she can’t fit up the tube, she will chew on the bars and when he sees her he automatically puts in her UFO.

As humans, we record how to function in this world. If you grow up in a family of negativity then you may write that down and think this is the way life is. Then you experience positive things later and some realize that you can choose again. You consciously want to be happy but your program that you wrote down says otherwise. In the moment that something happened you came to a conclusion and wrote down the decision and as you get older that decision can become a limited decision. I asked the class a question. I asked, “Are you a follower or a leader?” Most people say both. I typically would have said say both for me. But actions speak louder than words. In the past, I was a follower. Now I am to be a leader to stand up for myself and live my life. As a business owner I am the leader but part of my old programming is saying you are a follower. You can’t do this part. In the certain moments I am struggling to get this and that done. I went from one extreme to another. I was follower and then I forced myself to grown up and become a leader and now can’t seem to manifest what I want because it takes longer than a day and I am doing it on my own (excuses.) I need to learn to come back to the middle and integrate the follower and leader if I am to get the results that I desire.

Did I or Did He project?

A readers post: What came to my mind was that maybe he was wearing pretty pink toe nail polish and just didn't want you to see it. So, maybe it's not what you're projecting....but what he's hiding. Just a thought...:o)

I have to say yes, it is still what i am projecting. Because this world has C>E (cause equals effect.) I created him to show up that way no matter what his excuses were. I still caused him to reject me and not listen to me. Now I can say that is how I made him showed up. According to my subconscious mind, that is not the root cause. I did some investigating with my subconscious mind and found out that part of me that created him to show up that way was me at 3 years old. I made a decision at 3 to stay hidden because at 3 it was safer to hide behind my mothers skirt. No matter how outgoing I become or consciously act now, I am to still heal that child part of me. That part of me is when i created it. That was a decision that worked for me then but now it is a limited decision and i can see all of its limitations.

Thank you for your comment. Much appreciated.

What am I projecting today?

I am amazed of what kind of creatures we are. Everyday we project out what we want to experience just like a script from a movie. We have drama, comedy, etc. I see each projection as a lesson or answer to the lesson.

I have been doing my best to step into my full potential. Ever since I declared that statement, a whirlwind of things occurred, many epiphanies and successes.

What I projected today. My Ego self talk: I want more customers and how do I relate to them? Am I truly giving them my best? Spirit Self: Yes I am. Ego Talk: then why do I feel like I have to give it away and look even then they don’t want it.

It all started yesterday. I got up and intuitively felt that one particular customer would be coming in soon. I thought since he has been so loyal to his healing that I would give him something for free. I own an acuscope. It only takes a few minutes to take a handheld device with a q-tip that you wet at the end and place it on certain spot at fingers, thumbs and toes. All the client does is bare their feet and hands and hold a metal device to conduct a circuit. He asked me some questions and I said well the homeopathic is working for you but you have a layer that is blocking you from removing the rest. I see that you will need to take this homeopathic. He said no not at this time. I said okay but you do understand that you need to heal the next layer. As we walk he said if by winter when I have the most problems, if I don’t see results then, then this has been all for not. I said, NO, that is not true. In order for a person to heal really well, you need to heal yourself in layers and with all the tools provided. Just using one thing and expecting that one thing to do it all is to set yourself up to keep the issue and prove your ego that you are right. That nothing will help this condition. He didn't get what I was saying. I tell him that I will give you a free reading from the acuscope machine. It reads your meridians and the acupuncture points. This will tell you where your energy is stuck, normal, or to low. I then can show you where to tap on the body to release and balance those meridians so the energy can heal your body. He says yes. I have to have you sign a informed consent form before we proceed. He was giving off the vibe that I am trying to take something from him and this just doesn’t feel right. I should have dropped it knowing what his body was saying. But because I am in a lesson, I continued. I read it through. I explained again. He said yes. We sat down and I showed him step by step. He said I am not doing this. You never told me that I would have to take off my shoes. I said I am sorry. I was explaining it quickly and forgot that part. I was so nervous. I was really feeling like I was a bad person. He got up and left. My ego wanted me to feel really hurt. Thank God I understand lessons. My spirit says hmm I wonder what program you are running to cause this guy to do that.