Follower or Leader?

Yesterday’s class was wonderful. Earlier that week, I prayed an effective prayer of saying Thank you for the message that I am teaching on Monday night’s class. Now it is Monday, I had prayed again. Thank you for the message that I am teaching tonight. I normally get the information on what I am teaching that night in the morning or the night before depending if I need to do research and get the meaning correct. But nothing showed up and here it is 4:30pm and I hadn’t received the message like I normally do. The message normally sticks out like a sore thumb.

My ego didn’t want to trust. Ego stated, “I am not sure about tonight. I just can’t wing it. They are paying for it. They expect to be taught something.” The ego could have continued to keep whining with worry and doubt but I have learned that faith is trusting. My effective prayer was and is Thank you for the message that I am teaching tonight.

Who am I (ego part) to demand that I get the answer right now? Who am I to set the deadline and how dare God to cross it? One of Ego’s tools is giving comfort. It is great that it does but how it does is through “False Sense of Assuredness” It helps us to deal with the situation in the moment. That is good but almost always is lies. The ego knows how to stroke the ego.

So the class begins early this time. I had three people arrive really early. We started to eat and chat about what we are projecting (tell what the week was like…good, bad, or indifferent.) A few others showed up for class and then out of the blue it stuck out like a sore thumb and I knew what I was to teach.

We are humans that come into this world and use our sensory system to define it. To find out what completes us. We come into this world with no manual for life. But we do come in with a note pad (subconscious mind) and the ability to record everything. Example: We are babies and in the crib. We smile and if someone is around they say, “Oh look how cute.” But you realize that you have a need to feed. So you may coo but that doesn’t get you the milk either. Then you fuss a little and still nothing. Then you begin to cry and they say “shhhh it is okay baby, mommy is right here.” As a baby you really are getting frustrated. So you cry really hard. It worked she picked me up. “I am writing this down in my little black book and will use it each time I want something.” I can smell the milk now. I use my mouth to go rutting for it. And they are not letting me have milk. They do not understand me. Why is it so hard to communicate with these people? I am telling them and they just don’t understand me… the story could continue but what is being said here is that we record everything in life from what works to what doesn’t. We write down what we see and think that is the only way it is until we get older and/or are taught that we can brainstorm and tweak things in life. We find ways to communicate to survive. Another example is our pet hamster, Rosie. She and my husband has a great communication. When Rosie wants in her ball she will chew on the bars until my husband gets up and puts in the ball. When she wants to put her food in her UFO - Unique Food Outlet and is unable to do it on her own because her cheeks are so packed to the hilt that she can’t fit up the tube, she will chew on the bars and when he sees her he automatically puts in her UFO.

As humans, we record how to function in this world. If you grow up in a family of negativity then you may write that down and think this is the way life is. Then you experience positive things later and some realize that you can choose again. You consciously want to be happy but your program that you wrote down says otherwise. In the moment that something happened you came to a conclusion and wrote down the decision and as you get older that decision can become a limited decision. I asked the class a question. I asked, “Are you a follower or a leader?” Most people say both. I typically would have said say both for me. But actions speak louder than words. In the past, I was a follower. Now I am to be a leader to stand up for myself and live my life. As a business owner I am the leader but part of my old programming is saying you are a follower. You can’t do this part. In the certain moments I am struggling to get this and that done. I went from one extreme to another. I was follower and then I forced myself to grown up and become a leader and now can’t seem to manifest what I want because it takes longer than a day and I am doing it on my own (excuses.) I need to learn to come back to the middle and integrate the follower and leader if I am to get the results that I desire.