Discovering the root cause of why I feel and act the way I do.

I mentally felt tired and didn’t want to do anything. I had to work. I felt like I was agitated. I couldn’t really find the words. I just knew I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I am all about learning it quickly so it didn’t have to happen again.

I checked myself on the acugraph machine. I could see which meridians had too much energy, split, or not enough energy. I was reading two of the meridians and the emotions that can get trapped in there. As I read it, there was this familiar feeling about it. It read, “the ability to feel and express positive emotions.” Even though it was familiar I couldn’t conscious comprehend. Then I allowed myself to intuitively see pictures of memories. I saw myself as a kid being love. I am happy, talkative, playing, and carrying that higher energy that children do. I then would see angry mean faces of the adults. Why you so happy, there is nothing to be happy about. They would say mean things. They would tell me to go away. Stop singing. Leave me alone. Go find something else to do. We lived in a 2 bedroom trailer with 7 people. I did some muscle testing and found out that I made a decision at age 3 that it is wrong to express joy and happiness because when you do you get into trouble. I have to say I as a 40yr old women still feel like I am going to get into trouble. I did EHT – emotional healing technique that is about holding your meridian pulse points as you think and feel your emotions. It is really great to use in my practice. Anyway. I am seeing me doing that to my kids when I was really stressed. I saw my husband do it to the kids. He would get wrapped up in wanting to get something done and when they wanted to climb on his lap he got mad. I then started to remember it on tv and with other family and friends. As an adult I felt ashamed. As a kid I felt really hurt and threatened. I made that decision. I now need to preserve all of the positive learnings and heal from it. I am to go back to that moment as a child and change that decision and help that inner child in me resolve the issue.

Another epiphany came from all of this and that is when happiness has gone on too long in my life, I start to cough, asthma, bronchial issue. Or I sabotage myself by projecting my kids or husband to do something so I get mad or they get mad at each other and I am the peacemaker. I remember I can create or project all kinds of bad stuff to happen so I don’t be happy.